i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just pee around me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
