found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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