I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
