you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
