Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
