apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
