If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize