My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
