"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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