Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
