I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
