Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
