My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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