Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
