dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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