new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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