um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
