i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
