You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
