I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It's Friday. Sex?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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