Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
