I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
