you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
