I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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