imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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