Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
40s are totally the cure
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