This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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