mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
