you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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