You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
