He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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