Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
