Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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