I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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