its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
