I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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