K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
