Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
