what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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