# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
