apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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