What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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