I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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