OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Floor bacon is actually really good
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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