Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
