i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
