Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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