Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
