Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
