You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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