so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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