I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
