Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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